OK, so you want to improve your social skills but don’t know exactly what to do. If you’re a shy person going out and speaking freely with people might seem overwhelming. Well, you don’t have to do it all at once. You can gradually build up your social skills to the point where you are comfortable striking up a conversation with strangers and speaking freely. This is a three month plan. Each week you should focus on one step and by the end of the program you should be a lot more comfortable talking to people. Feel free to start at whatever level you are comfortable with.

Week 1: Starting Small
The challenge this week is to make eye contact and smile at people. When you are walking down the street or through a shopping mall just look people in the eye and give them a small smile. You don;t have to keep it for long, just long enough so they notice.

Week 2: Turning it Up a Notch
OK, now that you can give people a smile, start to make yourself more expressive. Instead of a small smile try a larger smile and a nod of the head. If you feel comfortable give someone a small wave.

Week 3: Start Talking
Now it’s time to actually talk to someone. Start by just talking to people you need to throughout your day. People like cashiers, waiters and salesmen. Go to a restaurant and interact with your server. Walk into an electronics store and wait for a salesman to approach you. These conversations do not need to stray too far away from the reason for talking so just get comfortable interacting with people.

Week 4: Conversations
This week you will be talking to the same types of people. Professionals that you interact with as a customer. However, this time you will start to lead the conversation to more general topics that may not necessarily relate to the immediate reason for speaking. Talk about things like the weather, your plans for the day or items in the news.

Week 5: Everyday Folks
Ok, now that you’re comfortable talking with employees time to move on to civilians. This time you will be talking to ordinary people going about their day. You should stop people and ask ordinary questions like “Do you have the time?” or “Do you know how to get to the library?” Try and keep the conversation going but just asking for the information is enough.

Week 6: The Next Step
This week you will concentrate on transitioning from asking a simple question to having a conversation. Once you have started talking to the person try changing the topic to something else and continuing the conversation. Try and keep it going for as long as you can. If you want for extra practice you could use a phone chatting service. You can read about free trial phone chat services so that you know what you are getting into before you start.

Week 7: Something in Common
This week you do everything exactly as last week except you now try and find something in common with the person you are talking to. Steer the conversation towards music, sports, books or whatever else interests you. Find something in common with the person you are talking to and speak about it with them.

Week 8: Join a Club
It’s time to really kick your social life into high gear. this week you will be joining a club, team or group. It can be anything, a hockey team, a chess club, a running group. The only requirements are that it has to be something you enjoy and their must be other people involved. Think about what you like and sign up. Go to the first meeting and talk to everyone. Make sure that you talk to a wide variety of people in your new club.

Week 9: Focus on One Person
Now that you have a club. Find one person that you particularly liked from last week and talk to them again. You can talk about whatever you want, just have a conversations. Your goal is to develop some camaraderie with this person and find out a few things about them.

Week 10: Make a Friend
This week you are going to invite your new friend out somewhere. It can be for a beer or coffee after the group meeting or anywhere else. You are now going to transition your friendship at the club into a real friendship. Invite them out and talk about whatever you feel like.

Week 11: Adding Up
This week you are going to make another friend. It can be at your club, at work, at school or any other place you can think of. Your goal is to meet another person and invite them out for a short trip to a coffee shop of some other place. Talk to them and get to know them.

Week 12: Bringing it All Together
Ok, now that you have a couple of friends you are going to bring everything you have learned together. You are going to invite both of your friends out or over to your house. Just have fun and keep the mood light. You can play cards, watch a movie, go out to a bar or whatever else you feel like.

By now you should have a pretty good social life going. just keep moving forward and improving. With each week try and make your own challenges. Cheers!